Profanity and self-pity rant to follow.
Feb. 16th, 2003 11:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
setraProfanity and self-pity rant to follow.
Fuck. I'm just so tired. So tired of everything. Hokuto won't go anymore... battery dead and the rest pretending not to work. I was so happy, because Arella liked the movie... and Hokuto was better, but she's not.. and I have so much to do and I just so tired. I've more or less lost my voice and I can't stop crying. And I'm ready for this all to be over now. I want to go home and go to bed. No more dorms, no more college, no more homework and tests and classes and failing. No more expectations or responsibilities to anyone. I just want to go to sleep. I need to clean up the house... mom asked me to... and I'm hungry... so hungry and I took dad's car and I hate it. It's too big and too bulky and automatic... and it's too low and too tall and It's nasty.
Shit. I can't do this. I'm going to bed. I'm going to fail 166... I know it... in that dreading way. It doesn't even matter anymore, because I can't do well enough to get an A either way. And I probably can't in Japanese either... bcause everything dissapeared... it'd be ok if I'd lost it really, but I didn't. It just all went away and is gone. And I can't think without everything hurting and I need to do things... I do. I just wish I could talk, and brethe and stop crying... damnit.
Whatever, I think I'm just going to give up, I couldn't think in Java anyway right now. Night.
-Maya
Fuck. I'm just so tired. So tired of everything. Hokuto won't go anymore... battery dead and the rest pretending not to work. I was so happy, because Arella liked the movie... and Hokuto was better, but she's not.. and I have so much to do and I just so tired. I've more or less lost my voice and I can't stop crying. And I'm ready for this all to be over now. I want to go home and go to bed. No more dorms, no more college, no more homework and tests and classes and failing. No more expectations or responsibilities to anyone. I just want to go to sleep. I need to clean up the house... mom asked me to... and I'm hungry... so hungry and I took dad's car and I hate it. It's too big and too bulky and automatic... and it's too low and too tall and It's nasty.
Shit. I can't do this. I'm going to bed. I'm going to fail 166... I know it... in that dreading way. It doesn't even matter anymore, because I can't do well enough to get an A either way. And I probably can't in Japanese either... bcause everything dissapeared... it'd be ok if I'd lost it really, but I didn't. It just all went away and is gone. And I can't think without everything hurting and I need to do things... I do. I just wish I could talk, and brethe and stop crying... damnit.
Whatever, I think I'm just going to give up, I couldn't think in Java anyway right now. Night.
-Maya
