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[personal profile] setra
Ok, I feel a little better now.
I felt downright sick in Japanese. First I was late, then we were filling out an evaluation form. I realized that I should really be studying like multiple hours per day... and I'm not.
Then we had kanji contest. Maybe I'm too forceful, maybe I want things done my way to much... Maybe that there be enough questions that I get to go twice like everyone else in my group is too much to ask. Maybe knowing the kanji for 黄色(ki-iro) is too much to ask. Maybe, even after all these contests, using words like migi, hidari, ue and shita are too complicated... Maybe understanding 「その漢字のかたかなの’イ’をけして下さい。」('Sono kanji no katakana no 'i' o keshite kudasai') is too much to ask... Maybe I think that 'keshite kudasai' along with an erasing motion while he's looking right at me shouldn't be too hard to understand. But mostly, I wish that people hadn't been yelling at me for being too mean to him because I started speaking slowly and moved to the floor. I assumed that he wasn't understanding me... and I think better on the floor. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I come off as condescending or bossy, I really don't mean to.
I'm tired of feeling hated in that class. I'm sorry I test well. I am. I don't know how I do it, or I'd help other people do it too... I'm just sick of people assuming... I don't even know what...
Then I had to go to kanji class, where I didn't have my activity prepared... so we did a jisho-looking up contest instead... Then I hung out and helped the guys correct thier tests. I actually got more wrong that I'd noticed, a couple in almost every section.
Then we went and talked to Beeken-sensei. I get to write journals for japanese, if I can do three long ones by tommorow, then I can catch up on homework. *dances* She looked at me funny when I said I was thinking about turning in my test corrections. "You don't need any more points." Ngai-san may not be able to go to Kansai next semester. That makes me sad.
Ok, so now I feel bad again. I don't think my shoulder muscles can get tenser than this.
Damnit, why am I always on the verge of tears on the days when I have to go talk to dad about stuff?
Time to go home now. Gods, I really don't want to write.

Bishonen: Hiiwatari Satoshi
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