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setraSo... started out the day pretty positive and played some RockBand. We were getting no reply from K about watching RvB tonight. No reply at all. So we decided to go check and make sure she got home from the airport/was all right/whatever... got there and realized that 1) she was fine but had not heard her phone and 2) was expecting to watch RvB at her place rather than ours. We still needed to leave to get food because we missed the turn on the way.
Also, I was planning to cook dinner at our place. I had mentioned this last night. When I mentioned to J that I'd been planning to do stuff at our place tonight, she said 'but K doesn't like coming to our place'. Which of course left me thinking about our situation. Again.
To me our living room isn't that bad. Especially right now, most of the mess is just blankets (which I fold up and then get draped over every available surface within a week) and remotes/controlers. My sewing table is in the living area, but I try to contain the mess from it. Not well but. Yeah. There are a lot of boxes still. Some because we don't have enough shelving. And some because my bedroom is tiny and already literally full of other boxes that I'm not allowed to keep in storage anymore.
So here I am, feeling worthless and judged and unhappy after having an otherwise great day. I hate that I can't tell how much of it is legitimate emotion and how much is the overall swing of a depression cycle. Or is the overall swing of depression still legitimate emotion? Beh. I hate that the only path I can see out of this is to get rid of a lot of my stuff. I have tried. I got rid of a ton of fabric, I've taken boxes of stuff to the thrift store. I've sold almost all my books and a lot of my cds.
ETA: Jess did end up unpacking a bunch of books that have been in her room since we moved. So It should be easier to sort through the manga now. Of course, she did this in a kind of cranky "I don't want to be doing work" way, but it did happen. And I emptied about three boxes of random crap. Still working on a couple more, those boxes are the worst, but easiest to get rid of stuff when I'm in the right mood.
Kat did come over and we watched the RvB S10 premiere and started S9. Which is pretty epic, I won't lie.
Also, I was planning to cook dinner at our place. I had mentioned this last night. When I mentioned to J that I'd been planning to do stuff at our place tonight, she said 'but K doesn't like coming to our place'. Which of course left me thinking about our situation. Again.
To me our living room isn't that bad. Especially right now, most of the mess is just blankets (which I fold up and then get draped over every available surface within a week) and remotes/controlers. My sewing table is in the living area, but I try to contain the mess from it. Not well but. Yeah. There are a lot of boxes still. Some because we don't have enough shelving. And some because my bedroom is tiny and already literally full of other boxes that I'm not allowed to keep in storage anymore.
So here I am, feeling worthless and judged and unhappy after having an otherwise great day. I hate that I can't tell how much of it is legitimate emotion and how much is the overall swing of a depression cycle. Or is the overall swing of depression still legitimate emotion? Beh. I hate that the only path I can see out of this is to get rid of a lot of my stuff. I have tried. I got rid of a ton of fabric, I've taken boxes of stuff to the thrift store. I've sold almost all my books and a lot of my cds.
ETA: Jess did end up unpacking a bunch of books that have been in her room since we moved. So It should be easier to sort through the manga now. Of course, she did this in a kind of cranky "I don't want to be doing work" way, but it did happen. And I emptied about three boxes of random crap. Still working on a couple more, those boxes are the worst, but easiest to get rid of stuff when I'm in the right mood.
Kat did come over and we watched the RvB S10 premiere and started S9. Which is pretty epic, I won't lie.
