Writer's Block: Looking Back
Apr. 14th, 2009 07:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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My first day of posts is here.
In the first post, I made it obvious that I was a first year in Japanese. I was eighteen years old.
In the second post from the same day, I though I could /maybe/ pass my matricies class (I didn't) and felt that my love for Angelique would live forever (it has, though Haruka has eclipsed it somewhat). I was in love with /Clavis/ and not Olivie (though he was my bishi of the moment) and I didn't know the kanji for egao.baranoneko was the honored 'Kat-senpai'. I was listening to what is still one of my favorite Japanese songs ("Air" by Uehara Takako) and I had just done an Utena meme. I had only two user pics, one from Kizuna and one of Mikage.
What's changed?
The age gap is incredibly obvious to me as I read these posts. I was eighteen. Which, while it seemed so very mature and grown up at the time... was really not. Both posts have an upbeat 前向き feeling to them that I have certainly lost a lot of in the intervening 6 years. A large part of it was lost at the end of that semester when I failed two classes and the end of that year when I realized that computer programming was not, in fact, what I was going to do for the rest of my life.
I have since graduated from college, been rejected twice from the JET program and subsequently rearranged my priorities in life. Back then, my life was about learning and grades and the next test. Years later, it's become about work, management, training, and merchandising. I use the focus of my degree almost exclusively in my hobbies (video games, manga, anime, dramas and cosplay). On the positive side: I am a lot more mature now. I'm much more comfortable being myself than I ever was in those years, and more at peace with what I like and not having to defend it to others. My Japanese skill is improved immensely and I am grateful for that every day. I have a wonderful roommate of several years who I sync with very well and I haven't gone the route of moving back in with my parents since I moved out in the summer of '04.
Anyway. Introspective rambling over now. Time to go work out a bit and them sleep for a while. Need to be presentable and intelligent for the Boss's boss tomorrow.
My first day of posts is here.
In the first post, I made it obvious that I was a first year in Japanese. I was eighteen years old.
In the second post from the same day, I though I could /maybe/ pass my matricies class (I didn't) and felt that my love for Angelique would live forever (it has, though Haruka has eclipsed it somewhat). I was in love with /Clavis/ and not Olivie (though he was my bishi of the moment) and I didn't know the kanji for egao.
baranoneko was the honored 'Kat-senpai'. I was listening to what is still one of my favorite Japanese songs ("Air" by Uehara Takako) and I had just done an Utena meme. I had only two user pics, one from Kizuna and one of Mikage.What's changed?
The age gap is incredibly obvious to me as I read these posts. I was eighteen. Which, while it seemed so very mature and grown up at the time... was really not. Both posts have an upbeat 前向き feeling to them that I have certainly lost a lot of in the intervening 6 years. A large part of it was lost at the end of that semester when I failed two classes and the end of that year when I realized that computer programming was not, in fact, what I was going to do for the rest of my life.
I have since graduated from college, been rejected twice from the JET program and subsequently rearranged my priorities in life. Back then, my life was about learning and grades and the next test. Years later, it's become about work, management, training, and merchandising. I use the focus of my degree almost exclusively in my hobbies (video games, manga, anime, dramas and cosplay). On the positive side: I am a lot more mature now. I'm much more comfortable being myself than I ever was in those years, and more at peace with what I like and not having to defend it to others. My Japanese skill is improved immensely and I am grateful for that every day. I have a wonderful roommate of several years who I sync with very well and I haven't gone the route of moving back in with my parents since I moved out in the summer of '04.
Anyway. Introspective rambling over now. Time to go work out a bit and them sleep for a while. Need to be presentable and intelligent for the Boss's boss tomorrow.
