Contemplation

2012-09-08T07:28:42Z

Been on vacation for almost a week now. And a couple of things have happened.
First - I have friends. Places to be and people to see and things to do. I know this would taper off if I lived here, but it feels unbelievably nice to have people to see and talk to and to bring me into new things.
Second, I love my mom's house. Maybe it's just that I'm starting from scratch and a clean foundation, maybe it's that I haven't run out of money yet, but it feels so good to live here, to make food and clean up and sew a bit.
Third, Val texted me and said that they will need a new RTL as of 10/22. And holy shit, why do things like this keep happening? If there has been a message the universe has been trying to send me, I think it might well be 'go back to Colorado'.

Or am I feeling all this because I'm on vacation? I mean, the difference between thinking about going back to work at 2228 versus 2173 is night and day. The smiles I saw on people's faces at the Ft. Collins store and the number of people in the building.... there would still be a shrink plan to follow but... god, I feel like with Val and Shawna I could manage that. I'd be included, I'd know what the hell was going on and what to /do/. I could get back to the place where there are standards and they are enforced.

It's the dream. Anyway. I need to talk to mom about the possibility of living here and/or taking her car if I sold mine. I need to talk to Rob about whether he would stay in Washington if I moved in October. And I need to decide in my heart if this is what I want. In my dreams I can imagine that I could get a better job in Seattle, but there is something in me that fails to go out and do those things, and maybe here... god I hate making choices. They change everything and change is so miserable.

comments

Fic Obsession

2012-02-25T19:25:01Z

The poor archive being down, and me being rather picky about my fandoms this month, I've actually started reading fic again. I think I mentioned Lorem Ipsum, which is brilliant. Now I started on Two Two One Bravo Baker which is very well written and remarkably compelling to me for a military story which usually isn't my sort of thing. Then again, it has very professional organized proper military John Watson, which is very much my thing. Very much.
Anyway.
Just needed to remind myself that that and some SHkinkmeme fills are what I'm reading in case my computer dumps all my tabs again. I'm off to go quilt for a while now and then I close, then close, then mid for truck, then open then open, I think. Ugh. Need a day or two to set up the apartment and finish emptying and cleaning the old one. Not gonna get that apparently.

comments

setra

Contemplation

Fic Obsession