setra: (Default)
Ok, so I just perused my 'Real Life' tag, and I feel like I need to make a post.
A being home post.
An 'I wasn't crazy' post.

I was in a lot of pain in Washington. I was suffering from low self-esteem, I was exhausted, I was depressed, I was alone in a home where I should have felt loved.
I was not crazy. It was not just me.
My store there /was/ poorly managed.
I /do/ know how to do my job. Pretty damn well actually.
I cannot do it alone.

This isn't some major high point in my attitude that I'm documenting. This is pretty average.

I go to work and I get things done. I coach and I learn, and I mess up, and I do things right, and it all happens without the panic and desperation that colored every day in Arlington.

I come home and I sew, I watch my shows or my mom's shows, I cuddle the cat. I sometimes call friends, more often they call me, and we hang out. If I need to get away from my stuff, I can go somewhere and be with other people who actually want to spend time with me. I can talk to these people about my interests.

If I want to be alone, or go out, or cook, or eat out... I can do those things. I can play Infamous for an hour and then marathon Leverage while I work on costumes and not feel guilty.

There is basically no one here that I wouldn't squeal 'I ship it!' at when something I ship was mentioned. Also, occasionally I can talk to Kay about dirty dirty porn.

I made the right choice to move back. I have support here, I have people to talk to. Family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers.

It isn't easy all the time. I still make mistakes. I'm still perpetually late. I still procrastinate. There is still friend drama all over the place.

But this was the right choice, I haven't doubted it for a moment since I came back and I hope that stays true for a long time to come.


setra: (Default)

September 2015

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