setra: (rain/ayato - know myself)
Been on vacation for almost a week now. And a couple of things have happened.
First - I have friends. Places to be and people to see and things to do. I know this would taper off if I lived here, but it feels unbelievably nice to have people to see and talk to and to bring me into new things.
Second, I love my mom's house. Maybe it's just that I'm starting from scratch and a clean foundation, maybe it's that I haven't run out of money yet, but it feels so good to live here, to make food and clean up and sew a bit.
Third, Val texted me and said that they will need a new RTL as of 10/22. And holy shit, why do things like this keep happening? If there has been a message the universe has been trying to send me, I think it might well be 'go back to Colorado'.

Or am I feeling all this because I'm on vacation? I mean, the difference between thinking about going back to work at 2228 versus 2173 is night and day. The smiles I saw on people's faces at the Ft. Collins store and the number of people in the building.... there would still be a shrink plan to follow but... god, I feel like with Val and Shawna I could manage that. I'd be included, I'd know what the hell was going on and what to /do/. I could get back to the place where there are standards and they are enforced.

It's the dream. Anyway. I need to talk to mom about the possibility of living here and/or taking her car if I sold mine. I need to talk to Rob about whether he would stay in Washington if I moved in October. And I need to decide in my heart if this is what I want. In my dreams I can imagine that I could get a better job in Seattle, but there is something in me that fails to go out and do those things, and maybe here... god I hate making choices. They change everything and change is so miserable.
setra: (Default)
So. Fuck. It's 4 AM and since I'm clearly not sleeping, here's where the ranting about why I'm not sleeping goes.
1) Dishes. I am hungry. But when I cook, I wash my dishes immediately. this is currently not possible because the sink is full of the dishes and J and R used to eat the last batch of food I cooked. I only got one serving, and then when I went to take leftovers to work, all the rice had been eaten. Then after today when I would have made more rice, the rest of the hayashi was gone too. Which is fine, I guess, except that I'm the one who dropped $100 the last time we went shopping, and $25 the time before that, and $80 last month, but I digress. The hunger is not really why I'm not sleeping, that's just the excuse.
The real reason is:
2) World Cosplay Summit qualifying rounds for 2013 are being announced... and NDK2012 is hosting one of them. Babbling and Depression Ensues )

This is all coming out because I had to spend all my money on car insurance this morning and so can't actually go to SakuraCon even though I requested the weekend off. So now I have four days when I'd love to be relaxing or sewing or anything, and instead I have a room with no work space, and lots of time to stare at it.
I own so many things and so few of them are important at all... but I still can't let go. I feel incredibly isolated and despondent in my own house, and I just don't know what to do anymore.


Sep. 27th, 2009 11:58 am
setra: (Default)
Had a fabulous mini-party yesterday with my sister, her boyfriend, Jess, Corina, Chris, my dad and both my brothers! Could only have been more awesome if Mom had come by.

We had just enough food, lots of snacks and a lot of fun! Thank you /all/ for coming. I felt very loved. I didn't take any pictures while my living room was filled with Beatles Rock Band awesomeness (except for one bad cell-phone pic). I'm regretting that now, but ah well.

Also, learned again that /anyone/ can pick up and like Little Big Planet in virtually no time flat. And that Gavino is much, much, much better at Halo 3 than we are. XD

Now I'm curling up with some Katamari Damacy and orange juice until my mom calls me back. Hope everyone's weekend is going splendidly!

Oh no!

Aug. 5th, 2009 02:28 am
setra: (Default)
I'm updating again? Woah.

Some random things:
-[profile] starlit_dragon is in Japan, so 2/3 of the people I see most often outside of work are now there. I hung out with by Brother on monday night to make up for this. :D
-AX: MoriMori's hair, woah! I still always expect him to be blonde. (Photo was from [profile] double_dear. Yell at me if it's a problem to post it here.)
-NDK: It's that time of year in my store.... and it makes me panicy ever time a cosplayer talks to me. I'm like 'Aaaah, costumes aren't done!'.... even though two of mine totally are.

Thanks to the people who gave me feedback on the work-related letter I posted the other day. (Not everyone saw it, so ignore this if you didn't) Work has been better this week so far... and hopfully we'll get back into the nice balance that we've had historically really soon.


May. 9th, 2009 02:38 am
setra: (Default)
Very little accomplished today. At work or otherwise.
But... there was deffinite fun today. RvB season two again, and then watching Jess play her new game while I played around with some stuff in photoshop.

I changed the quote for my LJ layout. (It's been a quote from Cables for... over a year, probably.) Now, it is better.

Anyway. Sleep-time. Karaoke tomorrow. Very exciting. ^_^
setra: (Default)
If you are in the Ft. Collins or Denver area, you are cordially invited to:

Karaoke Hijinks (and stuff) with [personal profile] baranoneko
Host: Maya (sorta)

Start Time: Saturday, May 9, 2009 at 3:00pm
End Time: Sunday, May 10, 2009 at 12:00am (or, whenever)
Location: DJs Karaoke and various

Trip to DJs Karaoke in Denver (tentatively from 3 pm to 6 pm) followed by either viewing of the Star Trek movie or a small Halo party depending on interest.

A trip to H-mart before Karaoke (around 2 pm) is also likely.

Contact Maya for details or with further suggestions please!

Comment if you need my contact info or other info.

(PEOPLE WITH X-BOXEN: would any of you be interested in hosting a mini Halo-party? At some point in the future if not this weekend...)

A day

May. 5th, 2009 03:06 am
setra: (Default)
Wow, Monday.
Was supposed to get up at 7 today to get to the gym in time for workout and breakfast before I went to work at 9 and Jess went to her Dr. appointment at 9:45.
That... didn't happen.
I woke up at 9:08. Panicked. Called work - found out that Truck was today and shifted my shift later. All in all, the work-bits were ok. I was not late (much) and had time to make breakfast (which I didn't eat until 2 pm anyway).

Work proceeded to be very long. I did get the truck unloaded in a timely manner and I did finish the Arranging Supplies POG, but the latter took /so/ long that we were closed by the time I left. The good news is that it sounds like we're going to be ok for payroll this week. The bad news is that coverage is crap because we only scheduled about 20 hours over. >.> Corporate logic FTL.

Once home, I made sammiches for myself for dinner and watched Jess make deviled eggs (they were massively tasty). In the midst of that, [personal profile] calhale called me and demanded that I go out to alleviate her boredom. Fangriling Ensued )

We also hit the IHOP for a small snack before I dropped her back at her dorm, so now it is very very late. Or early. Both. And I work at 10, but am getting up earlier to go work out and hopefully encourage myself to crash a little earlier tomorrow.
setra: (Default)
I'm back again for my late-night 'I'm going to bed now, really!' post. ^_^
I am currently in a VERY Weiss mood... and I don't mean Janet. I've been reading this fic... which I am really enjoying. We won't discuss the title or topic of this fic because some people might try to kill me for it... so... yeah. But I've got that Gluhen Aya skin on without switch now. Except for an occational manual switch to the three Kizuna skins I have (Kai... *drool*)
Yas, I know that Kai is a moron and a jerk... but the skin is *gorgeous* The ones with Kei and Ran aren't bad either...
*drifts off into happy fangirl land*
*comes around slowly*
*wipes drool from chin*
So... where was I?
How about... classes? Ok. That bloody class that my advisor said was cancelled let me register tonight... don't ask me why. So now my scedule for next semester is 17 credits consisting mostly of mathy goodness (*ack*) and starting an hour earlier than this semester *again-ack*. Either way... it should be pretty fun.
And looking at my four-year graduation plan it looks like I might even have time to re-take matricies sometime.
Ok... bored now. New topic... bishonen.
Been there... very much needing of Weiss... or Yami no Matsuei... Or even Kizuna...
Went to Anime club today. X is good. I made comments... Austin says I've read Handpuppet theatre too many times... but I've only read it twice I swear! And the subtext/text is so there! And the tea! It's not just me! Either way, I think I'm upsetting people so I should probably stop... *sigh*
On another note, the Cities of Gold theme is really cool in french... and by cool I mean wierd and exactly like the english version only in french.
Likewise... Patamon's image song (Digimon) is rather odd - cute, but odd.
Ok... the winamp skin is getting distracting. Like my RahXephon poster. Did you know that there are NO RahXepon sites in english? Except for two reviews that both say the series is really good.
What else? I saw the music video for "Hikari" today. ("Hikari" is the japanese theme song from the Kingdom Hearts video game - sung by Utada Hikaru) It involved her doing dishes and singing... it was cute... and she looks really good with her current hair style.
I also saw several live videos of Sakamoto Maaya... she gets really nervous performing live... it's funny. And I started listening to songs from "23 Toki no Ongaku"... which is technically a Yoko Kanno album featuring Maaya Sakamoto, which basically means that not all the tracks even have vocals. It's odd... very odd... not bad... just wierd. And very obviously composed by Yoko Kanno... which is again, not a bad thing... but different than I was expecting. Not like "Easy Listening" which just leapt out and beat me over the head going "I'm a really freaking great album, how about you go to Japan and buy me NOW?"
Austin says he and I both need a massage... and when someone from only five minutes of working on my shoulders can acctually TELL that I'm too tense, then you know it's a problem. Usually people don't notice tension in my shoulders - I'm not sure why.
I really like the Trigun and Cowboy Bebop soundtracks... (Rem's Song just came on "Sound Life")
I mentioned "Easy Listening" already right?.. my favorite song is "Doreddo 39" which just freaking rocks! Fast and cool, with a more standard guitar background than, say, "Hemisphere" - which, by the way, is the HARDEST thing I've ever tried to sing in straight Karaoke (NDK was with the normal song because I hadn't found a karaoke version yet)... so hard that I almost want to sing it at Fanime if I can get it together... because it's a totally different song without vocals. I mean, I know the song like the back of my hand... rhythm and tone as well as words... but the vocals compleatly carry the melody, there's not more than a trace of a base rhythm in the song without them, and even that shifts throughout. *sigh*
Ok, rant over... I would hereby like to state that Kazuma Kodaka should /not/ be able to draw bishonen as well as she can... it's simply not fair... I mean... Well... ok she should be able to... but I shouldn't be so distracted by them. Hn.
Ok... long pause there (nearly an hour) while I want off and got distracted by... guess what? Bishonen.
I keep forgetting that Ranmaru's voice was Okiayu Ryoutarou. *sigh* Ranmaru may well be one of my top bishonen of all time... speaking of which I've been meaning to put together a list of those... for the moment atleast.
Warning that this will be heavily swayed by animation/art quality in some cases...
Top 10 Bishonen of December (or maybe just the moment, who knows?)
...or maybe not... I should sleep eventually and this is going to take a very long time to figure out... check back in a few days.
I really need to end this now... I meant to be asleep (not just in bed) nearly 2 hours ago.

Bishonen: Samejima Ranmaru (Kizuna)
Bisoujo: none... brain filled with bishonen
Favorite thing in the world: Mercades (the cat) ^_^
setra: (Default)
Thanks to a lot of Do As Infinity and Maaya Sakamoto I am still alive.
I got about 80% done of what I absolutely needed to.
I got a bit done that I didn't need to. And I am alive! Whether I will continue to be so once various people (like my Japanese teacher) get ahold of me remains to be seen.
Why isn't "exhausted and doomed yet optomistic" a mood choice?

Bishonen: Sasame ('cause of the current winamp skin) and Nick (see bishojo reasons)
Bishojo: Shenra, Audrey and Salem(the ones that helped me get through tonight)

*the number of real people in the above lists confuses me too...
setra: (Default)
I learned a valluable lesson tonight... one which I've learned many times before. Don't think.
Everything in life is ok if you don't think. Stay in the moment, don't let your mind get bogged down in the future or the past.
My life was greatly improved by going out to dinner tonight and dressing up to go out to dinner. I also went by Linda's club for the first time... it was cute, and rather punk. But whatever.
I'd like to really appologize to Nick and Criag who both really wanted to go to tornadoes (both last night and tonight) I have no excuses other than that I was pretending to try to be responsible. Not that it worked.
On a totally different note, I can't find my angelique notes... and that's bad. They contain about 15 handwritten pages of notes, translations, and various other things... and I'll be really distraught if they got thrown out or something.
I'm not going to mention school and how doomed I am because then I'll start worrying about it again and the headache will come back.
Late happy birthday to Corina-senpai! Tanjoubi o omedetou gozaimasu! (excuse my horrid japanese... *hides*)

5 things that would make me very happy right now: not to be tired, someone to cuddle, more time, a fellow fangirl to obsess with, a club that plays japanese music

5 reasons I am happy right now: new shirts that mom gave me, mom's garnet necklace, Kat's latest journal entry [it's really happy and cute and things] (see friends), music, the rainbows around my computer

Bishonen of the moment: Ranmaru, Treize (and all Okiayu Ryotarou characters)

Bishojo of the Moment: Hokuto

add Muraki-sensei to the Bishonen list... one of his winamp skins just came up. ^_^
setra: (Default)
I would like - before I duck off to bed - to appologize to everyone who needs it. I'm sorry for being inconsiderate, indecisive, not gay, not straight, not mature, not strong. For being a bad driver, for procrastinating, for complaining and for not thinking before I speak.
I know I've probably really pissed off a lot of people lately (Nick, Craig, possibly Corina, and Carl just to guess), and I'm really sorry... I just... well... I have no excuse, I'm just a horrible person...
Anyway, I'm going to go sleep now.

Bishonen: Kamui and Piro
Bishojo: Chi
setra: (Default)
Soft blue turtlenecks are good... they make my happy...
So... after thinking at about 7:45 last night that I'd go to bed as soon as the babies did and just wake up early... I left the house at 9 (the babies were still up) and didn't get to sleep untill almost 4 am... then I woke up at 1... paniced because I though it was sunday... turned on KUNC.. realized after 5 minutes that since Thistle and Shamrock wasn't on it couldn't be sunday... then talked to Thorin on the phone. Then went down stairs, made coffee, went to the computer... started getting set to do work...
Then talked to Brad, got his dice so that he could pick them up to go play exalted...
Then talked to Craig on the phone and Nick on AIM... and then finnaly wrote this and then did work...
I shouldn't be happy right now... I've done no work in four days...
but I'm relatively content... as long as nick doesn't kill me... *sigh*


setra: (Default)

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